The grandmotherly nurse handed me a tissue-thin hospital gown. "Sorry it's so cold," she apologized. I clutched the teeeny tiny robe around me (when did they get so small?) and explained to the wide-eyed Talmage and noninterested Sydney what was about to happen.
The lanky, grey-bearded dermatologist whipped out a magnifying glass, just like a real detective, peered at a few spots, then ponderously said (and I quote), "Thaaaat's unusual." Hmh! To which I have to say, "Thaaaat's reassuring." He thinks it might be an allergic reaction to something. "But we'll have to do a biopsy." That's where the coring part comes in.
The accommodating receptionist watched Talmage and Sydney while I was whisked to another room (the operating room, I guess). The nurse flipped on the radio to calm my chattering nerves, and layed a thick blanket on top of me to still my chattering teeth. She chattered about upcoming Christmas plans, her fiance (!), whilst gathering supplies. I listened to her with one ear and listened for Sydney out front with the other.
The dermatologist entered and peered again at the spots, choosing his favorite two and circling them with a purple "pen". He showed me the biopsy tool aka coring device. Really. A small metal, hollow cylinder that he punched into my ... and removed a foot-long tube of skin layer. He reaffirmed that this could be an allergy and asked that I think really hard about any changes in my diet, etc. during the past week or so (just so you know, I am drawing a blank).
We won't know the results until after Christmas vacation - so stay tuned. But I tell you what, if I had a choice, I hope I'm allergic to sugar. Wouldn't that be great? I think a deathly allergy would help me kick my sugar addiction.
If you had a choice, what allergy would you prefer?
6 comments:
Oh, Robin, poor girl. Does it itch? Does it burn? A "foot-long" biopsy?!?!?! I can't imagine. Your "reassuring" dermatologist needs to learn a few bedside manners. Maybe your next Enrichment Night could be sewing up some X-Large flannel robes to donate. I hope you got some meds or ointments/lotions to help you out. Get better soon! Allergy preferences? Yeah, sugar AND fat, would be good.
I've never heard Apple Core Baltimore, but I see you're the kind of patient who takes advice and is willing/ready to go under the knife at a moment's notice. I'm sure you're a dream patient!
As for the allergy, I would like to be allergic to pork, because I hate the thought of eating it (when I stop to think about it) but I still love the taste of sausage and scarf down plenty of it.
I hope your cores heal pronto!
What is it with dermatologists? I can't say I've ever found one that didn't want to slice off parts of me and test it. I've never been cored though. Poor dear!! I hope it all works out. If I could be allergic to something, well, I think I'd choose snow. That way I would NEVER have to go out in it or live in a place that has it regularly. Ha ha! Can't wait to see you by the way!! ;)
Wait. I didn't notice anything about anesthesia (says the daughter of an anesthesiologist). A biopsy sample a foot long with no anesthesia? You are tougher than I realized. And I already thought you were tough!
PS. I love Apple Core, Baltimore. My brothers and I played often and loved throwing apple cores at each other when we were all living in the same house. Good times!
Allergic to jerks
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