1) How many of you out there start flossing religiously, and I mean, religiously, the week or so preceding your scheduled visit? The truth is, you didn’t even know where the dental floss was hiding until now. But here you are, trying to harden up those gums in hopes you can trick the dentist into thinking all along you’ve been a daily flosser. Dental Visit Eve you may even floss twice a day. Your gums bleed from the frantic sawing. But it’s okay because you know it’s bleed now or in the chair when they poke that sharp tool against the edge of your gums, i.e. the periodontal data collection. You start reading your scriptures every day, too.
2) The hygienist, Joyce, taps her appointment book and asks me if Briton is two-timing them. “Is your husband … seeing someone else?” she asked, peering over her appointment book through her designer glasses. Apparently she’d last seen his molars eleven years ago. I explained that he wasn’t being unfaithful, but that semiannual checkups weren’t his thing. She asked if I would make an appointment for him. I did a double-take before giving her a resounding, “No!” Maybe y’all have different ideas about “taking care” of your husbands, but for me and my house, I figure they are his teeth and it’s his job to take care of them. I don’t brush them. I don’t floss them. I don’t make dentist appointments for them. Joyce appeared a little dismayed and then asked if it was okay with me if the dentist office called him. When I got home, Briton said they’d already called.
3) It seems like every time I go to the dentist, technology has been there before me. The newest gadget this time was how Joyce documented the periodontal thingy. Instead of calling out the numbers to a scribe as she pressed each tooth, she tapped her foot on a pedal on the ground that recorded the numbers on the computer screen. It was kind of like Dance Revolution at the dentist.
4) A. had asked who my dentist was and I told her. Awhile later I received a letter in the mail thanking me for my “referral” and as proof, they were crediting my account with so many clams. When the receptionist calculated my bill, minus the credit, the balance came to a whopping 10 cents. Ten cents! What a deal.
5) If you live in an area without fluoride in the water, start giving your kids fluoride drops at age six months. Supplement until the are 6 or 7 years old. This is not a conspiracy.
4 comments:
I loved your Dental Details...what beautiful teeth you have! Laur and I can hold our own on dental stories. I wouldn't know where to begin. We both grew up without fluoride. Laur's boss always reminds him to check his dental work before going on vacation. Laur lost a crown in Boston and broke a tooth in Japan, while I broke a tooth in El Paso and pulled off a crown in New Jersey. Actually, the best stories are the ones our old dentist, Dr. Huffaker (affectionately known as Dr. Toothaker), told US. Having tales to tell when you (every Barker family member) got home was ALMOST an incentive to go. Spending money on new technology was not his high point. If you wanted an economy solution, he was the man. Our kids did get fluoride and have no clue about how bad dental visits can really be. I hate to tell you, but perichecks, whatever they are, can't possibly compare to root canals.
I laughed when I read the first line. My dental appointment is approaching in the next few weeks, and every night, when I think, "I don't feel like flossing," I immediately tell myself to just do it to avoid trouble at the dentist.
PLEASE tell me where I can get flouride drops. I use to buy the nursery water at the store that was flourinated, and I quit...I think I better start doing that again.
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