Dr. K: Soooooo, any questions?
Me: Nope.
Dr. K: Weeeellll... [prolonged pause] ... we've already talked about your ample weight gain.
Ample?....Did she just say ... ample(*)???!?!?!?!?!?!??!?!? [Whimper]. I mean, I know my face would feel more comfortable if there were some sort of device to prop up my multiple chins (I carry my babies very high). But it's not like I can't put on my own shoes yet. Oh ... wait. Errr, weight...
When I told my empathic dad about the conversation, he sent me this reassuring cartoon:
But still.
It'd been much more pleasant if the conversation had gone more like this:
Dr. K: Soooooo, any questions?
Me: Nope.
Dr. K: Weeeellll... (prolonged pause) ... Happy New Year!
Today, when we got to the end of the checkup (all 3 minutes of it) - she gave me pause when she again closed things with:
Dr. K: Sooooo, any questions?
Me [not willing to filter my thoughts]: Nope. Just that I'm fat [thank you, very much!]
And she said:
Dr. K: [benevolent smile]. OK. See you in two weeks.
Much better.
*Origin:
1400–50; late ME < class="ital-inline">amplus wide, large.
2 comments:
I'm so sorry to be laughing at your dire predicament.
I hate OB's that do that. Each one of mine did. Let me guess, is your OB a female? They are all Nazi's about gaining weight. Yes, make us feel guilty since we don't already feel that from the day our kids are born! MAKES ME SO MAD!!!!!! You should gain 40 more pounds just to spite her!
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