So Some Stuff Happened This Summer

Kristi came to town to pick strawberries. That girl is one of the funniest people I know. By funny, I mean witty. Also, she is brave. She drove here from Utah without her husband. This is Talmage and Bentley on the complimentary tractor escort. Kristi and I new better than to lug six children in wagons out to the fields. In the rain. Uphill both ways.

This is how kids get good character: working in the fields - rain or shine.
Here is Clara, on QC patrol.


MOVING ON ....

What sort of a parent lets their kids have markers in their room at bedtime?

They look like warriors. And rulers (see below).

The cousins spent the night a couple weeks ago (it was D&J's Super Date turn). They somehow coaxed a caterpillar into their clutches and named her (?) Kendra. Kendra? Anyway. They loved on Kendra so much. ("Pretty bird. Pretty bird."). Lots of loving and attention to her habitat and nutritional needs. She had her own private Matchbox Car and lots of leaves and sticks. She was examined and petted and loved and loved and loved ... I found her curled up in fetal position the next morning. Unsure of her prognosis, I set her outside and wished her good luck. The next day they asked where Kendra was. Poor Kendra.


A quiet lull in their bedtime games. Notice how Sydney is touching her nose with that sheep? She'll lightly rub the tip of her nose, usually with Letter, when she's powering down.

Finally! A day over 79 degrees!

Andrea came to visit for a day. She saw Clara's mullet and insisted it be cut off. Immediately. I handed her the scissors and walah:


An experiment with freezer bags: how much air to vacuum out to achieve maximum preservation rate of lettuce. Answer: The washed, vacuumed-flat lettuce turned into soggy mush.

It's been five months with no treats ("treats" being subjective).
Smoothies are not a treat.

Hillsboro Parks and Recs and Libraries know how to entertain the troops in the summer. A gaggle of kids enjoying Shoehorn Jimbob or someone. He tapdanced AND played multiple instruments simultaneously. His sax tunes were cool. This summer we've stopped in for a few of their free lunches in the park. Last Friday they had pizza. Pretty fancy.

Jack and Talmage

One night when the partying got a little crazy:

Clara pulled this plate out of the dishwasher and this happened:

Sydney, dramatically and mournfully, "Oh no! Now we're never going to have that type of plate!"

Heidi and Emily were in Sound of Music. Two appreciative audience members below:

It was a good production. Heidi was a nun. And Emily was Gretel. Every time Emily said or did something, I was alternately beamy/teary because she was so dang cute.


Then there is this little story. Heidi lent me her beautiful earrings. Well, I sort of ripped them out of her ears. That's a true friend. We were at the park one day and she was helping consult on the family photo outfits/accessories and I'm all like, "Heeey... your earrings would coordinate perfectly." And she says, touching them delicately, "Well, they are family heirlooms, but sure. You can use them. Just be sure to give them back."

And then I kept forgetting to give them back. Like a true friend. And also I didn't end up wearing them after all. And then I was getting nervous that I'd lose the earlooms. But she lives at least Four Dollars in Gas Away. So I vowed to mail them. And this is how they arrived:

Which is funny because nuns don't wear earrings, right? And also, this craft made me think I, for a moment, was following in my mom's footsteps because I used my own brain to be creative -- and didn't consult Internetland at all.

More summer to come. But for now. The end.

Get Your Groupon

Thanks to all my consultants who helped with outfit co-ordination and procurement.

The venue and photography are a little more upper crust than we're used to - but, the Groupon was a steal of deal!

From Yuen Lui Studios, presenting A Barker Family Photo, July 2011...

July trip to Utah

En route.
Clara's face pretty much captures how she behaved the entire drive. Is "loud" a behavior?

We stayed at the Kartchner Half-way house in Meridian again - now known as the newly acclaimed Kartchner Resort and Spa. Even though Kathy and Richard weren't there, Kathy said we "had to" try the new shower. It has five shower-heads - four of which hit you from the sides. It was like surround-sound. But with water as the medium.

We spent the weekend with Briton's folks before heading down to the Provo area. We got to stay with my 6th-grade friend (well, friends since we were 12, she is not age 12), Paulette and her family. She just had a baby but rolled us into her family without batting an eye. It was really fun to chat while the kids ran amok.

Fourth of July! The kids slept in while Briton and I ran the Freedom Run 10K. We were so snooty about the idea of a 10K, coming off of the marathon. But that 10K kicked our proud bums! I shoulda gone to the flag raising ceremony at Uncle Bud's park instead!!!

Next up: Parade. The Provo Parade is the finest I've ever seen. The person next to me shared some parade-route secret codes that are new to me since the last Provo Parade I saw (when I was, like, six). I will share one of these secrets with you. To the Beauty Queens you're supposed to yell, "Show us your shoes." Parade audiences are very demanding these days. Do the BQ's comply?

All of this and more then you could ever hope for is documented at Shady Creek Lane.

In the afternoon, I stopped in to see Great-Grandma Kartchner, who's face was black and blue all over from running into a door at night (or else it's the new guy she's dating) and cousins (including L&A) while the Barker clan amused themselves elsewhere.

The following days are also pictured on SCL blog. We didn't use our camera the entire time in Utah.

On the way back to Oregon we stumbled upon the Idaho Kartchner Reunion in full swing. We thought we'd take a few courtesy pics.

Before the broken leg (Allison's).

Before the face plant.

On Your Mark!

The past several Wednesday nights find us at the All Comer's Track Meet. There is so much that could be said. But, to be somewhat brief ...

Talmage and Sydney both run all the events they can - we get home after 9pm. Sometimes the cousins are there, too. It's a real party. Also, now I'm a seasoned pro at knowing where the different events start around the track. Hurdles, here. 200m, there. 800m, this a' way.

Taking off for the 200m. I love the serious, earnest, concentrated look on Syd's face. And her non-aerodynamic arm.

Sydney met a new friend, Hazel. I wish I had a picture of them holding hands and singing songs. They ran a few races together.

The gun goes off for the 1500m.

Sydney wanted to take a picture and I wanted you to see my cool sunglasses. They're the cheap kind because I'm positive I will lose them. Soon. It's inevitable.

The ribbons. Ah, the ribbons.

Syd ran the 800m tonight. She's a tough little runner - the only 3 year-old to run that event (possibly because all the other 3 year-olds have more responsible parents who put their kids to bed at a decent hour). She came in last, pumping her arms, smiling, heart rate pounding. Good endurance for the Little Sheep (did you know Sydney refers to herself as Baby Sheep ever since the Leaping Lamb Farm? Sometimes she's a baby horse, too. But that doesn't have anything to do with the track meet). People all along the last 100m were clapping and cheering for her.

The races have been a refiner's fire for Talmage. He was crushed the first few times he didn't win ("Mom, I wanted a white ribbon"). Advice from a good friend helped me know how to encourage him along. I mean, how do you explain to a kid to just do their best, have fun, winning doesn't matter, etc --- but then it's obvious that only one kid gets a blue, red, or white ribbon? The green participatory ribbon becomes meaningless because they're not "special".

We kept going to the meets because they liked to run the races and I liked seeing them exercise those little bodies. Over the weeks, Talmage is showing he's getting the sportsmanship stuff (Full disclosure: There was that one time when he turned on the gas during the 800m and called out to me, triumphantly and not at all chivalrously, "I passed that girl".). STILL. Nothing beats the smile on his face when he came running up to me the first time he got a third place ribbon. "Mom! Mom! I got a white one!!!" Persistence pays off. Not a bad lesson to learn.

[editor's second disclaimer note: placing in the All Comer's Meets is pretty subjective. Heats are relaxed and hodge-podge so it's all luck of the line-up if you're with super fast kids or slower kids].

If Someone Asks You if You Want a Ride in a Porsche, the Correct Answer is:

Somehow, Briton ended up on an email list from the Intel-Is-A-Great-Place-To-Work-Guys. That meant today we got to go to this mid-day Porsche/Aviation Show. The kids sat in fancy, fast jets for Pich Reople and sat in the driver's seat of a YouKnowWhat.

They were too young/short to go for a ride. I like how they spontaneously held hands while they watched the drivers. The cars were super loud, so it was like they were reassuring each other that it was okay.






After the above-recorded, breakneck-speed ride in a Porsche, we mosied over to the free, catered lunch. It was then we noticed we were an outlier in the targeted demographic: older, well-heeled, sophisticated people. With no children. After eating, we deftly swiped the carnage off the table and exited stage left.


In 8th grade, my math teacher, Mr. Jacobsen had a poster of a white, Porsche 911 tacked to the wall. And I loved it. Possibly as much as the boy I had a devoted crush on. Definitely more than geometry. And I don't even care about cars, so it's weird that I even noticed the poster or considered the lillies. Some 25 years later, I learned I still think Porsche's are pretty cool. Even if that sounds cliche. It ain't no minivan.

Book Review: The Fierce Bad Rabbit by Beatrix Potter

Synopsis: A nice, gentle rabbit is eating a carrot his mother has given him when, all of the sudden, a fierce bad rabbit takes it! The nice rabbit runs away to a hole, and watches abjectly, while the bad rabbit snarfs down the carrot. Where is justice? How will it be served?

Enter:


This is Sydney's favorite book of late. A blood-and-guts story, rife with rifles, flying whiskers, and turned-up tails. The perfect bedtime story.

A memorized rendition.

It's all relative.

image from Cafe Press, obviously.

Last year two relatives, namely Rick and Heather, trained for an Ironman (which event Rick completed and Heather would have if she hadn't been run over --- but also, btw, a couple weeks ago, after recovering from forced immobility, she successfully completed a 1/2 ironman. But, I digress). With that in mind, Briton and I ran a little marathon last Saturday -- the Seattle Rock n' Roll -- a mere cool down for an Ironman.

We stayed with good friends in the area, who also watched our kids during the race. I know. Nice. But I learned not to say "thank you" -- I tried and they were all offended that I would stoop to such formalities. :).

Back: Dinesh, Dinesh's parents, Anu, Rishi (age 2)
Front: A motley crew

It's fun to arrive at the starting line together and wish the best of luck (and not to break a leg) and a share a quick peck before parting ways: Brit to Corral 2 and me to Corral 22 (via a long walk back to the bag drop and a long wait in the porta potty line. It's all casual at the back of pack -- we didn't cross the starting line until 33 minutes after the elite runners).

This was a ROCK N' ROLL-garage band-psychedelic-crazy-hype-up-the-crowd kind of marathon. Bands stationed approximately every mile, high school cheerleaders in various states of undress, supportive crowds cheering, etc. Except there was a short section along the waterfront that decried all those shenanigans: there were pictures of servicemen who died in Afghanistan posted on short pickets. Each poster included their name, age, and date of death. Several pictures were young fathers holding their newborn babies or young children. The average age of all these men was probably early 20's. Sadness. A runner next to me said, "Well, that puts it all in perspective." Following the posters were people standing with American flags cheering for the runners. For us? I wonder if each person at a flag was a family member of one of the people who died. And I thought, "No, this is all backwards. We should be thanking you. Cheering for you. Your race is much longer and harder." Relativity.

Anyway. That was very emotional.

A half mile up the road a punky band put pep back in the pack. But I don't think I'll ever forget that emotion.

Moving on, if you're still with me.

Around mile 7 or something, there were signs announcing "Split Ahead" -- a guy with a megaphone kept repeating "Full to the right. Half to the left." The marathon course took us across the Washington Bridge (scenic and I love bridges - so this was a hit for me) and the 1/2 marathon course went somewhere else. It was comical to approach that split with that guy. I mean, this event had 26,000 runners/walkers and we were coming at this juncture in droves. Like a pack of rats running from a flood. And then the split happens and I wondered if that's what Judgement Day will be like: "Sheep to the right. Goats to the left." Not that there's anything wrong with the 1/2 marathon, mind you. Don't get yer gander up. OR your dander.

A cool thing I saw was a girl running with a blind guy. She held a long PVC pipe in each hand and the guy was running behind her, holding onto the PVC pipe.

A cool thing Briton saw was an abandoned roll of duck tape. His knee was killing him. The pain was so bad he was thinking he'd have to walk the rest of the course -- or hobble or something -- and then go under the knife! -- surgery possibly -- or at least cutting up his shirt so he could brace his knee. But instead, yea, like unto manna from Heaven, he sees this roll of duct tape sitting on the highway barrier and is able to make a brace. Like MacGyver!!!! And then he qualified for Boston anyway. I think his speediness and brains are very sexy.

The end of the marathon was a pain. There were two up and backs along the Alaskan Highway. Those are hard when you're at mile 17 and you look across the barrier and there's mile 21 staring at you. So close. And yet, so far. The Space Needle was around there somewhere to look at but I didn't see it. I was looking at the asphalt. Some Gu at 22 (or whereever) perked the system up for a bit. I stopped to stretch out some tight muscles a couple times, and after mile 24, when I stood up, the 4:30 pacer zipped by me and I was like, "What the...!?!?!?!?!?" I was so close to finishing under 4:30 that I didn't want to give it up. So I slogged after him and was able to squeeze out just enough energy to cross the finish line around 4:26. I know. Super cute!

Image courtesy of Intel, an Expo vendor

Brit and I hadn't talked about where to meet up. I staggered through the recovery chute, a saint tied a foil blanket around me, and then wandered to Letter "B" in the family meeting area figuring that was as likely a place as any to meet him. I collapsed on the ground and then heard this guy talking about how he was in the hospital last week, ....., wondered who would be so crazy as to run a race after being hospitalized and saw that it was a guy from our ward (who, incidentally, was talking to Briton - so problem solved). Who has cancer. The guy. Not Briton. Anyway, he (the guy) has been through rounds and rounds of chemo. And just ran a 1/2 marathon! That is super impressive to me and beyond cute.

And that's the story. You're still here????

Next up? 3 days of guilt-free rest!!!! I love week zero. Then, a festive July 4th Freedom Run, Hood to Coast, and then just tonight, on a whim decided to join Headuh and Rick and his son for the Richmond Marathon in November.

The end.

June 23

They say it's your birthday. Click here for footage.

Last Day of Preschool

A note to his teacher, Miss Arlene:
Thank you for tehten me
I love the thegs that you tehting
me
Love TALMAGE


Here is a story that was in the Journal his teacher is holding.

All About Me
I like to eat soup.
My favorite colors are all the colors.
A friend at preschool is Jake and Matthew.
A fun thing to do at school is building.
When I grow up I'm going to be an engineer because I want to ride on trains.

I think it's cool how Talmage wrote colorful letters and also expressed gratitude for the world of wonder his preschool teachers opened up to him. There will be many good people that will teach him over the years. I don't know who they are yet, but I am grateful for them.

Submit a "Cap"-tion, Please

Father n' Daughter Campout

It followed on the heels of the Father n' Sons. I'd never heard of a F-D campout before. But it's a briiiiiilliant idea. Briton and Syd grew closer together with that rare, extended 1:1 time.

Sydney looked forward to riding in "The Truck" with dad to Champoeg State Park.
The campground was pretty posh. Level, manicured lawns. Showers. That sort of stuff. The amenities one would expect for our Delicate Flowers.


Someone brought a hammock. Syd and Sonya goofing around:
Syd loved gazing into the fire that night and eating hot dogs, cheetohs and marshmallows. :).

Rise and Shine!!! Syd slept in and missed breakfast with everyone else.

After packing up, they walked down to the river to toss in rocks and also went on a bike ride.

They took a break at the Butteville General Store and chatted about this n' that over a bag o' peanuts. Well, specifically they discussed trains. How Syd wanted to drive them when she got older.
On the ride home Syd revealed how strong "Letter" is ("Letter" is the name of her blankie). Letter can lift buildings and cars. She kept Briton awake with rhyming games: "What rhymes with water? Bater!" And when that got old, improved (how is that spelled???) songs as only Sydney can.

Briton wrote a tender, personal letter to Sydney about the weekend; something he can give her when she gets older. So, Syd ... if you're reading this and don't know about Dad's letter to you ... this is a clue.

When the Bomb Hits...

...Don't give me no wheat, no wheat. Don't give me no beans, no beans. Just give me Adam's PB, oh yeah. Just Adam's PB [sung to the tune of a Girls' Camp classic].

I knew our family consumed a lot of PB. But I was curious about the exact rate of consumption. So I started a little scientific test, as evidenced above. That's an 80 oz jar of PB. The new jar was opened on May 27. And that's why we have a Costco membership.

What's the number one consumed item in your home?
The one that will make quarantine possible/bearable/non-glum?

Hellyeah Write-up Part I and II

May I point out the obvious?

Someone's calves are the same size as someone else's quads.


Last Saturday Brit and I ran the Helvetia 1/2.
Here's the write-up from our H2C blog:

Part I:
The Helvetia Half. Our backyard run. We've wanted to run this race for several years - especially since it's so close to home. Why run the backroads for free when you can pay money? The stars aligned this year -- our marathon training called for a 12 miler on this exact date. We signed up, the Farrer's watched our kids, we biked to the starting line (zooming pass all those people walking from the Intel parking lots ... suckers!), the sky was overcast, the rendition of the Star-Spangled Banner induced tears, and I stuffed my pockets with free post-race Cliff Bars. Oh! And the run was fantastic. We had fun and ran a good race. Like Paul.

Part II:

Bona fide finisher medals. Briton even won a third place ribbon. A white one ... like the kind you get at Field Day in elementary school. Except this race warn't no child's play. He had to burn past a guy barfing his guts up to earn it. (It's okay ... it wasn't a Good Samaritan scenario. The guy was likely in a different age category...pretty sure.).

Once Upon A Time

... last weekend to be precise ... we had a fun time along strict gender lines.

Briton and Talmage went on the Father n' Sons campout which Briton may wish to write up (or he may not). Now for their photos:







While the boys were roasting marshmallows and such, I hired a babysitter (wait a minute ... I never said Mother n' Daughter ... ) ... and went to book club. That is fodder for a future post -- but to whet your appetite: this book club is the Book Club of all Book Clubs. Not that I've ever been in a book club to compare it to, but I've heard stories...

After book club, I picked up the girls and whisked them to Heidi's house, where they were tucked in bed and then H and S and I stayed up LATE (11:30 pm) playing games. We didn't stay up later because I wanted to get up at a decent hour to run and Stephanie is extra tired because she is p******t and Heidi is in Broadway rehearsals or something. But mostly, I need to say right now that I love those girls and always feel lucky to hang out with them.

The next morning, Abbie watched my kids while I ran. Then I came home and Clara, conveniently, had a nap and so what else could we do but play some more games while the other children ran amok? Exactly.

Came home. Got debriefed on F&S, Briton went running, and then I went to work all night long and worried about preparing a YW lesson for the next morning on zero sleep. Except then at church the other teacher told me she thought she was teaching everybody and so I gladly acquiesced so that turned out to be a good deal.

The end.

Leaping Lamb Farm

Leaping Lamb Farm 2011

This was a most enjoyable weekend. We stayed at the Leaping Lamb Farm and the kids played Gentleman Farmer. They fed the chickens and collected eggs, fed the lambs and horses and played in the hayloft. Scottie, the amiable owner, was really gentle with the kids and interesting to talk to. The setting was as verdant and lush as Oregon gets. We learned Kiwi can be grown even here.

More on the "Super" theme:

Filmed by Talmage.

Super Dates

Starting a few months ago our lives changed. Once a month, alternating months with Dave and Jo, we watch the other couple's kids for 48 hours. Forty-eight hours!!! (EDIT: Briton says it's 36 hours. Either way. But FYI: Did you know 4 out of 3 people have a problem with fractions?) Our first "weekend away" was actually sponsored by Intel -- a fancy party, complete with dinner and an overnight lodge stay. On Day 2, we hiked this trail:




... and appreciated the symmetry of nature

Go Team!