Airing Out Our Dirty Laundry

A retraction:

Sydney is not potty trained.

Last night was a low moment. And today it got lower.

Last night, around 10 p.m., we heard her calling out. Investigating the plea, Briton found Sydney standing undressed IN her top dresser drawer. His smeller told him there was more to the scene than met the eye. Sure enough, buried under the underwear were a couple logs. We went through each piece of clothing, pulling out the casualties. A third solo log leaned, camouflaged, against the base of the dresser.

Tonight, when recalling the event, Briton cajoled, "Come on, Robin. It's kind of funny."

Maybe I'll laugh about it later, but after today's numerous accidents (including several on the newly cleaned carpet) and after she put her poo in the potty (per our instructions last night) - except doing it by hand-delivering it to the commode - well - I gave up. Uncle, I cry.

She is in diapers again. Oh. And she's sleeping in the crib, with a binkie.

Advice anyone?

In the wee hours before 4

The inspiration.

Our attempt at replication:
That "4" is made out of rice krispy treats and marshmallow fondant (and a fistful of skewers for structural support). Pretty good for a couple of amateurs.

Happy Birthday, Talmage. You are the inspiration. [insert photo of Talmage. iPhoto is currently wigging out).

Would You Care for Some "T"?

Or Maybe a "P"?

The peas are lucking out this long, cool June. Can't say the same for the tomatoes. Meanwhile, we've been sowing some memories:

Memorial Day weekend camp out with the Wilde's and Everton's along the Rogue River (I mean, along I-5). We chose the Rogue for the white water rafting but ended up doing a jet boat excursion which was much more family friendly for our demographic. The rapids will have to wait 'til Clara is a little older. We enjoyed a walk along the river, though, a long-run along the fields, excellent company, and a place for the kids to run amok and hang from the strings of the hammock.

We started a new tradition for summer fun. Talmage and I brainstormed a million ideas of things to do and then put them on strips of paper inside a duck (not a real duck). At the beginning of the week he and Syd draw out 2 or 3 slips of paper and then we schedule that activity into the week. So far they have painted rocks....Caught red, uh, blue-handed...

(what can happen when a painting rock activity goes too long without parental supervision. Truth is, I actually like the handy look Talmage created here. I can see him thinking his artistic endeavor would improve the welcoming feel of our front porch. I felt sort of bad telling him we'd have to wash it off. ..."And don't do it again, kid, or I'll break your fingers.")

... Had a water balloon fight:

They really liked hucking the balloons onto the deck, rather than at each other. I don't get why two kids who enjoy tormenting each other on a regular basis weren't more into the "fight" part of water balloon fight. We'll have to work on that.


We went to the Zoo with Honey Jo and kids. Last week we had a backyard campout, which aborted after bedtime stories in the tent. But it was still fun to do. We also learned a magic trick - making a quarter disappear. I'd give you the link to how to do the trick, except maybe I'll do it for you one day and a real magician never tells how they do their tricks. The week ended with a most excellent day at the beach with the Farrer's and friends. Briton made a clam gun and was able to demolish some clams. Afterwards we heeded the signboards advertising the Scandinavian Festival in Astoria. We watched some traditional dancing, ate a smorgasbord, listened to a brass band that accompanied a cutely-rhymed epic poem, was reminded that Iceland is one of the Scandinavian countries (?), took Sydney to the bathroom 20 times (but hey, she didn't have one single accident the whole day!), and took the VERY scenic route home (202 and 47).

Oh, yeah. Sydney is potty trained. That was fun.

We bought a fifth of a cow. Betsy is in our deep-freeze, packaged in butcher paper into lumps of of ground beef, London Broil (we ate some of that tonight), tenderloin, roast, etc. Betsy was grass-fed and treated humanely.

Briton and I saw the new Karate Kid movie. We kept winking at each other whenever we saw something we'd been to when we were in China. It was very romantic.

This week Talmage turns four. He's been anticipating this birthday for a loooong time and has specific expectations. This is the first birthday party where I feel like I want to "make it count". So we're going all out. Friends, birthday games, a real cake. We're also hosting a high school student from the Madrid region for three weeks. She comes on Friday.

That's some of the stuff that is going on. Not many pictures. But look, you made it to the end!

Cousins and Honey Jo's Arm

Joseph and Talmage both adore Clara.

F/S

T and I loaded up the pickup and headed down the road to Horning's Hideout for the annual Father and Son campout...

Pleasure cruise on paddle boat:

Wildlife: (the lake was crawling with salamanders and jumping with fish)


This place had some archaic playgrounds, but I've never experienced a faster slide. We should have been wearing crash helmets...


After a few marshmallows and a fireside, T announced he was ready to hit the sack...

Always Remember...

... the way you danced, with both feet off the ground;

... That you are ...

... a beautiful princess.

"Look at my pretty dress."



"Jed! You can dance with some of the pretty princesses."

Toile and tu-tus have hit our house full-storm. Heather, embracing this new interest of Sydney and her friends, went all out. She made the dresses featured here. Thanks, Aunt Heather!

The Better To See You With

Discovering Portland

At the confluence of the Columbia and Willamette sits Kelley Point Park. For further details of this afternoon, feel free to contact me (spoiler alert: pouncing dogs, tarry feet, locked bathroom doors; fighting; stubborn children, crying baby, muddy clothes, deranged mom).

On the Relativity of "Valuable":

I love filling out surveys and questionnaires. There's something about the Likert Scale that really makes my skirt fly up.

Several months ago we received a lengthy questionnaire in the mail from a consumer research firm. They promised it would be worth my while. As if the satisfaction from filling in those bubbles wasn't reward enough. I sharpened my #2 and got to work. Upon mailing the completed forms, I promptly forgot about them.

Until today. Today Ruth (our cool mailman, er, woman) delivered an envelope that contained the promised reward: "valuable coupons"!

I couldn't wait to sift through the supposed stack of coupons. Turns out the "stack" consisted of just two coupons:

One for $3 off some name-brand allergy medication that we don't use.
One for $1.50 off a laundry stain remover that we don't use.

That was it.

I hope they mail me a feedback questionnaire so I can let them know, on a scale of 1-10, how lame their rewards were.

The Street Will Provide (Again)

Today realized the fulfillment, once again, of ye old adage "The street will provide" (and your friends).

Karren called from Seattle yesterday and asked if we wanted to have the almost expired chuck roast in their fridge. (It now occurs to me I could have suggested freezing it. Oh, well). This morning, I hopped in the truck to secure said roast. I had worked the night before, getting home at 1:30 a.m. Clara had woken up to eat at 2 and 6 am. Since this was just a dash in and dash out errand, with no chance of seeing anyone, I neglected the social niceties such as putting on shoes, brushing hair, wearing a bra for going out in public.

Then ... IT appeared in my vision: a wooden trellis standing on the sidewalk in front of Karren's neighbor's house. Signs tied all over it proclaimed: Free.

A trellis has been on my hit list for four years. I couldn't believe my good fortune to run across this free one. The truck screeched to a stop. The guy offing the trellis was on his driveway and I took no thought for my appearance when I leaped out and gushed, "Really!!!!! Free???????" One look at me and the guy must have thought, "This lady looks like she could use a lot more help than a free trellis." He handed me a fiver after we loaded it up onto the truck.

On another matter: Happy Mother's Day.

p.s. just kidding about the fiver. It was a fifty.
No. jokes. All jokes. Except about the trellis and me looking disheveled. The trellis really was free and is now standing sentinel to our garden and I really did look like I'd slept in the truck all night.

If I Were A Gambling Woman...

... I'd run a marathon with you.

Go to the St. George Marathon website, lottery results page. For your convenience, you may click on this link . Scroll to the bottom and where it asks to search for last name, type in ours.

That was fun.

20 Seconds

*Notice: No babies were harmed in the making of this montage.

How They Grow

Above: Spinach
Middle: Peas

Six weeks old

Below: Baby

Eight weeks old

The Mother Lode

Yesterday we sold The Bogus. Goodbye, Bogus. You served us well. We went on road trips in you. We brought a baby home from the hospital in you. We talked, laughed, sung, cried, fought, kissed (whoop), and spilled food in you. I have a feeling that Mike, who saw you on craigslist and paid a song for you, will treat you well (He knows how to play a churango).
The breaking story, here, though is the process of getting the cash from the sale deposited into our bank, which is in another state. My family has a habit of carrying large sums of cash in their ... habits (background: my mom constructed a garment to wear under her clothes for transporting thousands of dollars to Bolivia. Imagine a commando bullet-proof vest, except silky and with lots of pockets for bills sewn all around. No. Wait. ... Don't.). With my mom's story in mind, my main errand today was two-fold (bill-fold): get a new battery for Briton's watch and get a money order.
Oh, I should mention this. I not only had the money from the sale of the car, I also had the money we had withdrawn when we were this close to buying a VW van. Lacking a smugglers camisole, said cash was stuffed into various envelopes which were then stuffed into my "purse".
Syd, Clara and I entered the Fred Meyer Jewelery store to get the watch battery. I was dressed as usual in my crumpled, baby-urp-stained clothing and flip flops. Sydney was decked out in about 50 bow clips, attached to her hair/pony tails/bangs, etc. (She directed her coiffure this morning. Not the picture above). Clara, hostage in the carseat, pretended to not know us by sleeping.

I handed over the watch with my nail-bitten, food-coloring-stained nails to the Pretty Lady with Hand Model fingers. I'm not sure what she was thinking, but I was thinking, "No matter what you're thinking, you're wrong. Because I could buy ANY of this Bling right now. In cash." Then I patted my pregnant purse with a smug smile. Sydney drooled sucker slobber onto the immaculate glass counter-tops and I said, "Oooh! That's a pretty one!" The Pretty Lady (who really did have the most beautiful fingers I've ever seen) changed the battery as quickly as possible.

Next stop. Winco. The customer service cave. Where you can buy money orders for a quarter. I pulled out my quarter and then started counting out stacks of 20's, 50's, and 100's. My heart rate accelerated and respirations quickened. The guy next to me was cashing his work check and I could feel his eyes on the piles. That's when I realized that the premium price banks charge for money orders includes the luxury of private transactions. Possibly worth it. I was already planning how to avert a mugging with two kids in tow. As discretely as possible, I shoved the money across the counter and hissed the total. Whereupon the lady started counting it out again. In plain sight.

It gets worse. Did you ever play skee-ball at ShowBiz pizza? A Chucky Cheese-type establishment? I loved skee-ball because compared to any other game, you'd get miles of tickets. I bring this up because that's what happened next. Apparently, money orders are only available in specified increments. The machine started spitting out money order attached to money order. The lady was rolling them up around her arm/elbow like a garden hose and the neon light above her head kept flashing, "Mug Me. Mug Me." The guy next to me left to set up his stake out. I collected my money orders and then went to go see if I could trade some for a plastic spider or something.

I wondered if the guy was waiting just outside the Winco doors, ready to pounce. Even if he wasn't, were weren't home safe, yet. So I stuffed the wad under Clara, in the carseat. I figured, knowing me, that I was bound to lose the envelope but I would never lose my baby. And the Mugger would never think to look under Clara! Together, we raced back through the parking lot, jumped in the van, and hurried home to post the mother lode to the bank.

The end.

On the Reels

T's Art and Clara

Tulips and Treasure*

*photos courtesy of Grandpa Barker Photography

Grandpa and Grandma Barker were here this past weekend for Clara's blessing. We visited the Woodburn Tulip Farm and Geocached on Saturday. It was a fun day.








Sydney is holding a small book with blank pages inside. The cover had a girl on it with the inscription: "I Love To Shop." Syd read the book the rest of the day whenever she was in her carseat. She'd repeat over and over in her soft chirrup, "I love to shop. I love to shop," as she turned each page. Sadly, this book never made it out of nursery the next day.A park provided a pit stop after a failed effort to find an elusive cache. Apparently, there is no disappointment in not finding treasure if there are swings nearby. I think there is a good lesson in there for all of us.

Early April

"What's a Twinkie?"

I felt like a virtuous mother, indeed, when Talmage asked this question during the construction of the kid's "Easter" treat: Peep Bunny Racecars.We celebrated Easter with a fun dinner with the Morgan and Farrer clans.

We do not allow utensils in our house.

The dinner menu, after some deliberation:

Lemon-Rosemary Pork Tenderloin

Twice-Baked Potatoes

Spring Asparagus

Broccoli Salad

Bread

Served on white platters [insert dreamy "mmmm"].

Dessert, now, has specific requirements. Easter dessert MUST be: "light, springy, and stand out in a crowd, like a graceful, ethereal woman" (from DearAlisha).

Trifle. Check. Until you scoop any out (notice the ethereal woman).


Portland Mormon Choir and Orchestra

Briton, with a couple friends, at the PMCO performance this month. The choir sang, among other things, John Rutter's "Requiem." This was a great experience for Briton. I thoroughly enjoyed hearing them perform and seeing Briton up there doing something he loves. I'd never heard this piece by Rutter before and it is now, easily, one of my top favorite pieces of music.

Cook Park: Sunday Stroll

One picture before the camera battery died. We enjoyed the good weather after Stake Conference with a stroll/run (speed dependent on if you were 3 years old and under or not) with D and her kiddos. First time here. Hopefully not the last. Canoe trip down the Tualatin River, anyone?

Clear Skies

=barefeet fun

Clara, good-natured and pleasant, as usual.

Conferring on the alphabet, and other weighty matters.