Huge Blessings

February 3, 2008

Sydney Ruth is a little over a week old. I love her so much! Before she was born I wondered how it would be possible to love another kid as much as I love Talmage. But it just happens. I gaze at her sleeping face, or watch her alert eyes explore the fuzziness around her; enjoy her sidelong, suspicious glances, her tight, rounded “oh”-lips, and her infant's vice-grip. She is beautiful. I wonder about her personality, and am amazed that in another year she will be a totally different being than she is now – having learned so much in so short a time. If she grows into something like how she is now, perhaps she will be a little more laid back than Talmage (Talmage’s focus and intensity was foreshadowed by his lusty and seemingly continual newborn howls).

Sydney and I have been working on figuring out how to nurse, but have seen our efforts sabotaged by a wicked cold. Every breath is filtered through burbling boogers. They have been too far back to suction out with the bulb until this afternoon and evening. She sleeps a lot; I’m not certain if this is normal for her or if it is a product of her being sick. My greatest fear is she won’t be able to breathe at all. This makes for sleepless nights. I was tense and alert for every sound she made until 2:30 a.m. My mom and I tried running a hot shower to loosen up the secretions. We turned on the cool mist humidifier as well. Nothing seemed to really make a difference, so my mom sent me to bed and spent the rest of the night holding her, walking with her, and otherwise listening to her respirations until I got back up around 7:30 a.m. Needless to say, mom got the day off … (tho’ she still helped with dinner and tidied the living room, and worked her mom magic).

Anyway, Sydney is sweet, sweet, sweet. When the doctor handed her to Briton in the operating room, Briton murmered, "She's so tiny!" The anesthesiologist piped up, "No, she's not! She's huge!" I guess the 7 pound-somethin' Sydney is huge compared to the 5 or 6 pound babies he probably sees on a regular basis. He's right on another count. She's a huge blessing in our lives. I find my heart is full of love for both her and Talmage. Her innocent spirit softens us. Talmage adores her.

Another post-partum blessing has been having my mom here. I spent the first three weeks after Sydney was born lying low - entirely made possible by my mom's vigilent care. She has been cooking, cooking, cleaning, laundrying, babysitting; has taken Talmage to the Children’s Museum, to SuperTots Indoor Playground, and shopping for toys. She holds Sydney and lets me sleep. It is wonderful. I know she has a life at home, but I am selfishly super glad she is still with us.